Are you ready for the holidays? You might already hear some Christmas music on the radio (will nobody think of Thanksgiving!?), and maybe you’re even seeing some decorations around the neighborhood.
There’s plenty to be excited about, but we’re also aware of the challenges to come for divorced parents. It’s easy to get caught up in an ugly fight with your ex over who gets the kids when and what our holidays should look like as a family. We want to help you avoid those nasty fights while also keeping your own and your children’s mental health in good shape.
Be Flexible
One of your best options will be to stay flexible through all the challenges to come. This involves keeping an open mind to changes that benefit everyone involved.
Would it make more sense for your ex to have the kids during one holiday while you get the other? Family traditions may dictate what makes sense this time of year. The same can be said with availability – maybe you’re going to have to work through one holiday so your kids will be better off spending that time with the other parent during that time.
Don’t Just “Roll Over”
The other side to that coin is this. Flexibility doesn’t mean bending to every request and need of your ex. If you’re not the primary custodial parent and you willingly give up your possession and access time then it may be taken as a sign you don’t care to see your children.
It’s all about being reasonable and understanding when a mutual agreement benefits the kids and when the agreement is simply giving the other parent everything they want. If you’ve been given a custody order that allows both parents to see the kids during the holidays but the other parent claims they’re going out of town with the kids during Thanksgiving and Christmas then you should fight back (through the courts, not physically or verbally).
Put Your Kids First
Texas courts will always put the needs of your children first. This mindset should extend to your own life, as well. Whatever plans or efforts you’re putting in this time of year should be made with your kids in mind.
We have a secret: kids will probably be excited to have two Christmases. They get two different mornings full of excitement and opening presents. If you don’t get Christmas day, that’s okay – you’ll still get a chance to have the enjoyment of a Christmas celebration.
Consider a Unified Approach With Your Ex
Some divorced parents actually spend the holidays together. This gives the kids one place to spread all the love and cheer they have in the holidays. You may want to consider this. It doesn’t mean you’re trying to repair your relationship with your ex, but it’s a sign of goodwill both to each other and to your kids.
Beyond spending the holiday together, you may also want to consider how you both talk to your kids this time of year. Is one parent struggling to buy presents while the other one is able to? Maybe the parent who isn’t struggling can put the other parent’s name on a few presents or give them some of the gifts to wrap up under their own tree. These gestures can go a long way with the courts and foster a healthy environment for our children to grow up in.
We want to be a part of your healing this time of year. Is your ex trying to infringe upon your custodial or visitation rights? Are you having trouble coming up with a mutual agreement for the holidays and are afraid the courts won’t side with you? Whatever issue arises this time of year, the team at Divorce in Texas is here to help. We can help you navigate this time of year and get the best result for you and your children. Contact us and we’ll get your situation sorted out.
Divorce Wise™
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